my CRACKTASTIC JOJO ADVENTURE
by candehwolfeh666
Summary: Helloz! Candeh wolfeh here making a CRACKTASTIC JOJO FIC XDDD This is just RANDOMNESS owo DIO IS GOOD AU ALL JOJOS ALIVE AT THE SAME TIEM AU MULTIFANDOM CROSSOVER! EGG BABIES MPREG AND MORE, DONT LIKE DONT READ! LEMON WARNING!
1. teh beginning

An(authorz note, if you don't know wat that is) lol heyzer XDD DJ Candeh Wolfeh here :3 this is my first fanfic so plz don't judge me too hard! alsooooooooo I only saw part 1 and 3 of jojoey but im a SPOILER WHORE! XD So I read some of the wiki and only kinda know what happens later OwO So sorrrrrry if not all of it is canon. FUCK CANON! LOL :3

OwO this is gonna be a big au fanfic based off A SUPER ULTRA EXTRA DUPER RANDOM RP WITH MY BESTIES!

But imma also write some side CRACKFICS! on the side and THOS will b called….. INTAMISSIONS!

WARNING:YAOI! BOY X BOY AND YURI! GIRL X GIRL ! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!

Rated M for possible lemon/ limey goodness Owo

DIO IS GOOD AU MODERN AU MULTIPART CROSSOVER MULTIPLE DIOS LIKE IN EYES OF HEAVEN!

HAMILTON CROSSOVER! CROSSOVER WITH OTHER STUFF TOO!

ALL JOJOS ARE ALIVE AU !

WARNING 2: EGG BABIES! MPREG, DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ!

JONAS POV

It was a sunny day in Florida, (they r in florida bcuz jotaro needed to study dolphins and dolphins live in florida k) and i was feeling good that day.

Everyone spoke Spanish in Miami and he decided he had to learn it bcuz Spanish is important and stuff and a lot of people speak it in America and I wanted to stay near my baby great great great great grandchild, who was an 17 year old marine biolgist, and actually older than me, bcuz im 16 , and cant be a dancing queen, cuz time dosnt fucking exist the universe is a hologram pollution poisons the air the apocalypse is nigh BUY GOLD! XD oops sorry lol I was eating cookiehs so I had a SUGAR RUSH! soz if I act ungentmanly cuz of it ;-;

So im in Miami with jotaro and we found William dead in Miami.

No jk hes alive hes just passed out on the floor bc he drank too much wine. XD

Anyway so im in Miami and im eating cookies and I am listening to Rosetta Stone to learn Spanish because of the fact a lot of people speak Spanish in Miami, I am staying at a hotel with Dio, my brother, and he brought along his bf, Enrico Pucci, who apparently was a priest, I thought priests couldn't bone ppl but apparently enrico doesn't rlly care? Anyway enrico is a cuban guy that I think dio found in cuba or something and he was probably a jinetera (an: that's someone who tries to seduce white tourists in cuba 2 come to amertica) and dios like his sugar daddy I think but its cool after growing up with dio many years I learned to deal with this kinda weird stuff plus hes a p cool sugar baby and like I think dio thought he was Isaac newton or something (an; if u don't know whot hat is please read a history book!) bc of something to do with gravity idk lol haven't asked

Anyways so dio brought his bf and I have my wife erina with me and shes busy making a fursuit (shes a furry but like a rlly cool furry not like a gross 60 year old guy in basement furry bc shes really beautiful and nice) in the other room bc she has to go to Furcon on Thursday (its wedsnday my dudues) and shes almost done because shes good at making fursuits like rlly good they have led lights n shit its gr8

Ya so im with dio and were talking about stuff and we start talking about our bestest buddy in the whole world RobERT Edward o speedwagon , whom me and dio loved very much

But like no homo 4 me… im heterosexual I have a wife ….

But dio was bi which is cool bc bi guyz are p cool and he had a crush on speedwagon and they boned and like I knew that but dio doesn't know I knew that so shhh don't tell him lol but he started telling me he boned speedwago anyways because we always overshare personal stuff 2 eachother its normal and we really missed speedwagon bc he had been gone for a very long time every since he got rich and shot up coke and used a lot of the moneyz on hookers and stuff and I missed my buddy. My bro. my friendo. My amigo. My pal. Platonic relationship person. My boyfriend. But like not in a gay way. Like boyfriend like a boy that's my friend.

And right then, we herd some1 knock on the door.

" WHO IS IT?" Screeched dio, who did not like being interrupted by knocking doors.

Dio flew towards the door and opened it, and there he was

His beautiful sparkling green eyes, his blonde, flowing, fluffy, soft, touchable hair, his cute face and adorable smile, like a kittens, and his muscles, which are less muscles than mine, but still muscles, and not to mention his rock hard abs… wait hes wearing a shirt nevermind oops lmao

Dio was very happy. He wryyed in delight, his titiies bouncing as he also bounced with joy, my titties also bouncing in unison as I also bounce wirth joy, the big milky.

Reo speedwagon had returned to us, the man we both loved and missed very much.

We hugged him close to us, dio wrrrying a little lower in happiness, his eyes glowing , and as I held speedwqagon close, my face touched his hair, his soft hair that smelled so nice, I couldn't helop but bury my face deeper into it ….

Because he was just such a good friend and I hadn't seen him in so long and friend s smell eachother right? Right? I

"Dio…. Jojo! Its been so long….." speedwagon said, also crying happily…

"REOOOOOOOO" Screeched dio, clinging to his first love tightly.

I kissed my good friend reo but like, no homo its just a greeting lol

Enrico looked at us fuinny but we didn't care, we were bros.

Dio started to introduce reo to eirnco , and we agreed that reo could stay in the hotel with us, because we could always just buy another room because we already could afford like two and he was gonna stay in me and erinas room and we probably wont have a pronlem with him because theres two bedrooms in our hotel room anwyways.

But deep down inside my heart I knew he was gonna b in the bed with me and erina, and the secondaru bedroom we had for him would rarely if not neva be used, becuz we had a secret.

Reo was my bestest buddy pal, but now that I had him here next to me, I couldn't deny my feelings anymore, it had been too manmy years and too long, I had to ttell dio I had to tell the world, which was dios stand, which would be the same thing b ut I want to tell both of them anyways because the world likes being talked to even if I cant rly see it

As my waifu,. ERrina came in, she ran up and hugged reo, cryuign happily and snuggling to his chest, me and my wife both had a secret

Speedwagon was our fluffy bitch and we both loved him very much and we could not keep our secret anymore… we had to confess ….. we could not lie anymore…..

The dirty truth we told nobody is….

erina likes double penetration and I am not heterosexual.


	2. jojoz jizzare aventure

**A/N: candeh here! Kk so I kno this chapter is RLLLLLLLLLLLY soon and stuffz but liek…. Im SOOOOOOOOOOOO BORED DX I gotta write moar owo comment n give lieks if ur a fan!**

 **Wolfehs gotta howl :3!**

 **DIO IS GOOD AU EVERYONE LIVES NOBODY DIES MULTI PART CROSSOVER MULTI FANDOM CROSSOVER MULTIPLE DIOS LIKE IN THE VIDEO GAMEZ!**

 **WARNING: BOY X BOY AND GIRL X GIRL DON'T LIKE DON'T READ! MPREG AND EGG BABIES, DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! NO FLAMING PLS!**

 **DIOS POV**

I could not believe it….my first love….. has returned to me…

Its probably for jonathan tho so I cant be so excited but…. Hes here….

My bisexual vampiric heart beated very very very very not fast bc I forgot it was there and I could ntot stop myself from crying because I love reo so much I, m so gay im very bi and we could be together if he wanted because ….. enrico doesn't rlly care?

Did he come back because he loves me? No impossinblee…. Hes too good…. Theres been too many breads eaten,…. Because I eat my feelings…..

A lot….. 

Erina continued to make her fursuit because ITS wednsesday my dudes and the furcon is,,,,,, on thursdya..

I missed Robert n I prayed to myself that there would be lube in my drawer tonight if he came 2 my bedroom,,,,,, I am thirsty.

I swooned as reo flipped his hair into my face, joj had to catch me, my brother knew why I was swooning.

I noticed the way he looked at reo speedcar and I wobdered to myself…. is this the way bestest pal buddy amigo friend platonic boyfried but boys that are friends look at eachother?

No…. yes… it has to… no of course jojo woujld never….. he is heterosexual…. He has a wife…. A good furry wife…. Whose fursona is a hyena…. She is good at art….. she feeds him… with her mouth…. Because animals do that.  
So it is impossibl for Jonjo to EVER be homosexed up over speedweed….

Yes, yes my brother is straight, straight as a bow… wait…. No….. that's not… straight at all…. A rainbow. Wait no …. Thsts not straight either…

I needed a moment to think about this.

Jojo helped me up, and I was no longer swooned.

"Jonahatan, I need a moment to go for a moment…." I said to Jojo

"Ok Dio, no lunch tho we're gonna get dinner for you tonight soon." Said jojoj

"Ok joj"

I made my way to my boyfriend, Enrico, my favorite twink, and I said "Enrique please , take me to your chambers, we need 2 spesak of these matters"

Enrico sighed, becuz deep down he knew what this was gonna be about because Dio told him everything about Speedwagon.

How long his pubes were, his personality, how cutee he was, how many years he went after That Dick, he was also psychic he just didn't rlly know.

I went to me and my bfs room and wrrrrryyYYYYYYYYYYYED

"ENRICO DO YOU THINK MY BROTHER EVER WOULDVE DONE THE DIDDLY WITH REO AND NEVER TELL ME?" I screamed hysterically

Enrico looked at me deeply.

"ye" he said.

"YEA OF COURSE HE NEVER WOULDVE IM GLAD YOU AGREE ENRICO" I said, verey surely of myself.

Enrico took a moment to astrally project to another plane of existence to bury his face into his hands and give out a screech, as to not do such a thing on the physical plane and make dio feel bad.

And then he returned 2 his bdoy.

"no… dio I meant….. listen…. They were boning." Enrico said

I was In shock.

"NO! OF COURSE NOT. THIS IS JOJO . MY LITTLE BROTHER. NEBER."

Enrico astrally projected again, this time to suckerpunch joj in the face.

Jojo screamed "OW, NO…. ME BEING TALL MADE ME BUMP INTO AN INVISIBLE CHANDELIER….. "

Enrico once again returned to his body and couldn't keep doing this anymore.

 **ERINA POV**

I waz humming my furrVOREite song, take teh knot by futret, working on meh latest fursuit that I was going 2 showcase at furcon.

I alreddy had 30 bidders on mah full body furrsuit, all I had 2 do now was 2 make teh head!

It has LED lights and shit. Its grrrrrrrrrreat!

I chugged mahself some red bull, cus redbull gives u wings AND BURDS HAVE THOS, and it has a bull on it, and bull is an animal, and im an animal lover! at home I have 7 dogs, danny, Daniel, Daniela, danel, danielo, Danni with an I, danne, with an e, but a lowercase e, liEK tEH 1 tat sounds like EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ANYWAY :3 SooooooOoOOoO I was doin my THANG n I was really happy that our best friend, fast420, was here with us, and everyone was so happy.

but jjojo was not good at pretending he forgot what happened that night, mai clitoris wasnt either, it was as hard as the led lights on my fursuit.

Furrsuit…. Murrsuit.

What would speedcars fursona even be….. maybe it would be a golden retriever… a sparkley one….. like the fursuit im making…. mmmmm… knots…..

I had only made a murrsuit once b4 and it was 4 this guy that lived in Egypt and it was a giant chicken and it was so weird bc chickens don't have dicc but ok I guess u do u bird fetishist from Egypt….

Golden retrievers are so soft…. Gentle…. Kind….. friendly…. Theyre really really good dogs…

And reo is a very very good dog…. I mean…hes very very very good…..

I continued working on the golden retriever fursuit head… the faux fur was soft… so soft…. Not as soft as Roberts hair but.,…. Soft….

I looked at the body across the room… I realized I had rushed it a little 2 much,,, and the seams were ripping a little…. At the crotch. The perfect place.

Of course Robert needed a welcuming present fur sure :3

A knotty one at tat…..

 **Jojoj s pov**

I walkd to erinanas room, ready to confront her about our deeply buried secrets of our affair with the sexually frustrated highwayman,,, it was time

My wif and I had 2 reveal everything…. The truth to dio Brando…

This is the only way we could live in peace…. Speedwagno could not stop me at this point… it had nbeen too long,…

I INAHLED DEEP

"fuck I cant do it"

Erina stareed at me

"ur a pussy lol" she said, without rlly knowing what I was talking about.

"LOL ILY2 XD " I went up to nuzzle her

We nuzzled eachother and touched noses, I licked her cheek (but like in a doggy way its like a kiss not like in a sexy way ) and we yipped at eachother happily, bc we wuve eachother :3

"ok ok waifu… I need to tell u something…" I said with urgency in my talking

"what is it joj?" she said questioningly.

I sighed deeply….

"we need to tell dio the speedwagon thing." I said, staring deeply into her eyes. 

"jojo ive had this idea since like 12 years ago srsly don't take credit for this if ur gonna do it now" she said, adjusting the crotch of the fursuit.

"also babby, whts ur credit card number?" she asked.

I was confuzzled.

"u just told me not to take credit for things and now ur trying to theft my identity with my credit card number?" I muttered loudly

"no u dumbass if I wanted to steal ur identitiy I would've asked for ur SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER" she yelled gently to my face.  
"oh. Its 987654323456789023456789098765432134567890987 what are you buying tho?" I ask.

She gave me a smirk."

"?" that was me

:3 that was her

"bad dragon dildo." She finally said.

I was in shock, she only had made this kind of purchase 42231 times before…..but what could this be for?

"what could this be for, erina?' I asked, still confuzzled.

She smirked more, this time more sexily

"Robert Edward o fast420" she spoke.

My eyes widened, my eyebrows also widened.

"holy shit."

The thinking came to me about how this would go.

I felt my diddly swell up in my pants….

speedwagon, with a bad dragon dildo… up his…..

arse.

My private areas were leaky… but this is why we had to tell dio… becuz I needed 2 yiff speedwagon….. and our hotel rooms r right next to eachother n teh noise is very VERY easy to pass thru (I kno dis bc I hear dio getting dicc nightly I just drown it out with my fav band mcr and avril lavigne idk what erina does lol but idk how to tell this to dio so shhh)

"ok my love my darling my ragtime girl we need to go to dio RIGHT NAO !" I shouted, I picked up my waify and ran to where dio and Enrique Iglesias are.

"kk" said erina in my arms

But then there he was. William anthonio zappelo right here. In our hotel room. Awoken.

"ciao bitchez" he said, hiccupping from being drinked.

"nyaaah…. daddy! I mean hey William ' I said , blushing becuz of my misteke.

William was so drunk he dint realize what I said but if he wuz sober he would have died, becus he lerned one thing abt himself long ago; he is NAWT daddy material.

"What are u putas up to" wiliam says, I am confuzzled even more.

"William that's Spanish not Italian" said me.

William hiccupped again "you've been having that bitch rosetta stone over teaching you to speak Spanish…. Does erina know about her…. I hear her loudly at night…." He say

"rosetta stone would never speak foul language in Spanish!' I said

William chuckled. "well I learned it from her and you learned it too bc u recognised wat it was immediately" he said drunkenly

I sweatted. Now waz not teh time to explain why I wanted to learn how to say slut in Spanish.

"anyway I wuz just going to DIO to tell him that me and erina have a secret" I sayd.

William chugged more wine and said "yuo mean the fact that youre boning speedwagon? That's not really a secret but ok" he said, starting to laugh "its time to tell him…. DIO YOUR BROTHER FRICKED ROBERT!" 

I was in shock that William said it so fast "OH FRICK!' I shouted.

Dio ran up tp me also in shock

"JOJO IS IT TRUE" he asked.

"yea." I said, guiltly bowing down my head.

Dio fell to the ground, and began crying, William tripping over him as William tried to move to leave to the bathroom becus William had to pee becus of how much wine he drank.

I felt horrible ansd I also started crying, falling onto erina, because she is small, we both fall to the ground.

enrico Gucci was the only man standing up in this room, and upon processing the situation, he took a deep breath and astrally projected outside in case William peed on someone.

Enrico was right. He did.

Willian Antonio Zappato has made a large pool of pee right on dio brando, and dio suddenly felt strange.

Was this… a bonner?

dios pants swelled up x3 its size , dio liked watersports but never befure had he been peed on by anyone aside from Emilio Douchey.

Dio was internally dying, this was an elder man , ew, gross, his tits are wrinkly probably and so are his cha-chas.

He continued crying regardless, and I also cried, and erina was trying to unearth herself from under me because of crying, teh tears filled the room, and there waz only one thing I could do in a room full of people crying.

It was time to play Simple Plan, which is the best band for multiple ppl to cry to to me.

I took out my ipod 9, I knew just the song.

 _Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place,  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you?  
Do you ever wanna run away?  
Do you lock yourself in your room  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you're screaming?_

 _[Dio wails in sadness]_

 __

 _No, you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like_

 _To be like me_

 _ **[jojo goes to comfort dio]**_ __

 _To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you_

 _ **[ dio does not respond too much crying and William is still peeing]**_ _  
No, you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

 _Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more_

 _ **[ William stops peeing]**_ _  
Before your life is over?  
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding_

 _ **[jojo holds dio close not minding the piss]**_ __

 _No, you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me  
_ _ **[dio cries on jojo]  
**_ _To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around_

 _ **[jojo licks some of Williams piss off of his own hand and then comforts dio more]**_ _  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

 _ **[speedwagon walks in, confuzzled]**_

 __

 _No one ever lied straight to your face  
And no one ever stabbed you in the back  
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay  
Everybody always gave you what you wanted  
You never had to work it was always there  
You don't know what it's like, what it's like_

 _[they both cry less]_

 _To be hurt  
To feel lost_

 _[erina is not being crushed]  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)_

 _ **[enrico returns to his body]**_ __

 _To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No, you don't know what it's like_

 _ **[ things are moar ok now]**_ _  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life_

"jojo…." Dio said…. Sniffling

"dio" I said, also sniffling and picking up my ipod and turning it of

Ropert cleared his throat. "so does this mean we can have a threeway?"

Everyone looked at him.

He sweated.

"too soon ? ok." He said.

After thoroughly kinkshaming speedwagon and cleaning up Williams piss, many sads stopped. Me and my waifu went back to our hotel room and ate COOKIEHZ! With Speedwagon!

And then we had a sugar rush … with speedwagon :3

 **A/N: HOPE U ENJOYED THE SECOND CHAPTER REVIEW AND FAV! X33333 CANDEH WOLFEH OUT!**


	3. CHAPTER 3 FINALLLYYY!

CANDEH WOLFEH BACK ! SORREH I WAS GROUNDED BC OF MY STUPID COUSIN UGHHHHHHH SHES SUCH A BITCH! FUCK HER! ILL GET BACK AT HER FOR THIS D

ANYWAYS ^^ HAIIIIIIII WE'RE BACK OWO

AS ALWAYS, DONT LIKE DONT READ, IM BI SO UHH THIS HAS TEH GAYZ IN IT W

STOP FLAMING IN TEH REVIEWS! ALSO SHADEBLADE10, DIS CHAPTER GONNA HAVE JOTAKAK JUS 4 UUUUU 333333333333 TANKS FOR LETTING ME KNO WHAT MAKES THE H8ERS ANGREH D

ANYWAYS TIME TO CONTINUE X3

speedwagon was WOOOOOWOWOWOOOOOHOOOOOO! Erina inhaled another cookeh as she climbed the hotel wall in teh room. U culd see her underwear from under her dress as she hung from the cieling lik KIng Kong from the POWER teh cookehz gave her.

It made Roro (wagon) think immmediately of hentai., He pushed the thoht out of his head. Bcuz he waznt gonna be a thot 2night. .or wuz he?

Jonathann however, was a thot. Teh panties were too mcuh for his innocent eyes. They widened as he looked up at the ceiling, she was on the cielig fan now. Sh ewas screaming like Tarzan, except with B cup boobies. She yodelled into her boobs so they could amplify her screams.

Speedwgaon had a nosebleed. Wasnt he gay? Maybe he was bi like Dio. He knew he liked Jonatahn , but did he really vlike Erinia this way? Pwrhaps.

"Jonatahn how does she do that?" hge asked.

Jonatahn looked down. "Her legs and arms are very strong bcuz she...liks girls."

Speeddwagon gasps. "WHta? But i tought it was onlyl us?"

Jonathan blsuhed. "She nevr did any Hoof them! She just lifts for them...the lesbian gym is her happy place."

Speedwagon was enlightened. Maybe coming to america made them all turn into thots. Him doing dio and thgen jonathan and erian, erina goign to her lesbian gym... even if she was married to a guy!

mAYBE IT WAS THE CHEMCIALS IN THE WATER... It made the frogs, like willoim, gay. willoin married two men? but they werent frogs and he was looking at erinas sexy panties! maybe it wasnt gay. maybe they were thots from brith. maybe they were born like this.

but how come only now he realized hes a thot, looking up at erinas panties? maybe its bcuz she was opening her legs. maybe her dress was just a pussy out luk? it was polka dots. all polka dots were pussy out looks.

Jonatahn blushed as he tried to hold his nosebleed, lookjign at speedwaghon.

"Spedwagon?" he asked, blushing.

"Yes Jonathan?" spedwagon asked back.

Jonathan pulled spedwaghon in. "Do you think its okay niw that dio knows to do it now... without fear?"

Speedwagon blushed. Erina continued to swing from the ceiling fan like Xena warrior princess from Amazon Delivery Service on (C)

(WANRNING! I DO NOT OWN AMAZON! I DO NOT SPONSOR AMAZON! THIS IS UNDER FAIR USE!)

Speedwagon shyly backed away. "We need to brush our teeth first."

Jonathan nodded in agreement.

They walked to the hotel bathroom, as Erina swung off from the ceiling fan behind them and landed expertly onto the nightstand next to the beds.

They opened the bathroom door, and speedwagon went first. He brushed his teeth, squeezing Coolgatie Toothpaste into his mouth and swishing it around, and then aggressively he picked up his toothbrush and rubbed his teeth hard, making sure to get off all the ugly plague off his gums.

When he was done, his mouth foamy, he picked up a piece of long stringy floss.

He put it between his two front teeth and suddenly:

"Speedwagon what is that?"

Ronert froze. "What?"

Jonathan looked bewildered.

"That. What is that?"

Robert dropped his foamy jaw in shock.

"You dont know what floss is?"

Jonathan shook his head.

Roberts world fell apart around him.

"You have gingivitus, Jonathan."

Tears welled up in his eyes.

"What?"

Speedwagon rinsed out his mouth before he spoke again.

"We can't kiss anymore. You have Gingitivitus. I need to take you to a dnetist right now."

Jonathan looked shocked.

"Whats gingitivitus , Speedwagon?"

Robert looked him straight in the eyez.

"How are you rich and dont know what gingitivitus is jonthan?"

Jonathan did not like eye contact. He looked away in shame.

"I dont know i didnt want to be a docter, i wanted to lick bones and ancient pots."

Robert put on his jacket which was hanging in the bathroom.

"Jonathan THIS IS SERIOUS! YOU CAN HAVE BONE DISSEASE!"

Jonathans eyes narrowed like firestar in warrior cats.

"Bone disease?"

Robert was crying now. His voice broke as he spoke again.

"You can die from bone cancer if we dont take you to the dentist right now."

Jonathan looked shock. "Who do we know is a dentist?"

Robert stood still.

"I know one dentist. But shes very scary. I need you to be brave for me, Jojo."

Jonathan nodded.

Erina crawled up to them like a wild burrowing owl confused upon finding a dead coyote outside of her house. She was on all fours like a dog.

Jonathan sighed.

"Erina you cant channel Dannys spirit into your vessel right now its an emergency."

Erina nodded. "Oh okay i just saw robert crying and thought it was help?"

Jonathan put a coat on his wife. "We need to go to the dentist."

Erina looked confused. "It's 2 am in the morning are you fur sure that teh office will be opened?"

Jonathan looked down in determination.

" _ **We have no choice erina."**_

She nodded solemnly.

Robert kicked the hotel door down Dramatically.

" _ **GET ME MY HORSE"**_

Erina and Jonathan looked confused.

"We couldnt take any horses into the hotel parking lot speedwagon." said erina.

Speedwagon looked down.

"I cant drive though."

Jonathan gasped.

 _ **"YOUR NAME IS SPEEDWAGON BUT YOU CANT DRIVE?"**_

Speedwagon looked embarassed.

"I nevr learned okay i couldnt afford driving school and when i got rich i just let a guy drive me around for me in my limo."

Erina gasped. "Cant we get a limo?"

Speedwagon looked sad. "Im afraid my limo driver is pregnat and he wont have the baby until next month."

Jonathan looked dissapointed. "So am i just gonna die? If i do i love you both..."

Erina gasped again "NO! IF YOU HAVENT DIED YET YOU HAVE PLENTY TIME LEFT!"

Ernia slapped jonathan.

"OW" HE YELLED.

"Sorry" she said "U were just being stupid."

Jonathan sighed "i kno"

Speedwagon looked impatient "Now isnt the time for domestic violence guyse we need to save jonathan"

He looked thoughtful. "Who has a car in this hotel?"

Erina sighed. "I do. I will drive."

They went outside into the parking lot.

They all got into the car, and Robert got shotgun (not a real gun i mean the seat in the car) while they forced Jonathan to lay down in the back.

Erina took out her key and tried to start up the car. It didnt work.

She tried again. Now it started!

She backed out into the driveway, and rolled over the speedbump behind her with ease.

And there they went into the city to find the dentist that speedwagon claimed was living around here in Miami.

There was almost nobody on the road becuz it was 2 am and everyone had to go to sleep to go to school and work tomorrow unless they were strippers then they were at work already or doctors in emergency room or nurses or prostitutes.

Speedwagon opened his old ass tomtom gps because he didnt know how to use his iphone and he put in the address.

"Are you sure she accepts walk ins?" erina asked.

Speedwagon grunted. "its an emergency. If shes not there we will go to her house instead."

Erina raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure shes okay wtih that?"

Speedwagon teared up. "ANything for jonathan."

Erina nodded in agreement.

Temari was in her office because she had no life on the weekdays fixing teeth because her husband Shikamaru was busy in his drag strip club. She was cleaning her pet skeletons teeth. She gave him a calcium treat as she finished, a tooth she stole from a child who lost his teeth.

He gave out a chuckle. "More teeth please miss?"

Temari sighed. "No Sans, you cannot eat more teeth. Its past your bedtime."

Sans frowned. "Okay mommy..."

Temari looked horrified. "Dont call me that you are 140 years old and im only 19 years old thats so weird ew"

Sans frowned more even if he had no lips. "Okay im sorry"

Temari sat him in her office broom closet and covered him with a sheet. "Goodnight Sand."

Sans chuckled again. "Goodnight Dr"

She sighed in relief as she closed the closet and locked it. They _must_ never know. They can never know.

Suddenly there was a knock at her door.

She ignored it, walking slowly so nobody would hear her.

Suddenly, Speedwagon took his beefy hand and smashed it into the door.

Temari screamed, and he retratced quick.

"PLEASE ITS AN EMERGENCY DOCTOR WE NEED YOUR HELP"

She stoped screaming. "WHat help could you need at this ungodly hour?"

"My boyfrined MIGHT DIE"

She opened the handle, and Speedwagon fell into the office facefirst.

"What THE FUCK."

Temaris eye twitched

"e.o"

Speedwagon threw Jonathan onto the table.

"FIX HIM DX"

Jonathan was distressed and very sleepy.

Temari inhaled.

"WHAT the fuck... how the fuck can _YOU DIE_ through **YOUR TEETH**?"

Temari screched.

Speedwagon froze. "He can get bone disease. He doesnt floss. Hes 16 years old and he doesnt know how to floss his teeth, doc."

Temari raised her eyebrow.

"How old are you?"

Speedwagon swet profusely. "21."

She looked skeptical. He was too baby smooth. But she was broke and wanted money anyways.

"Ok open your mouth kid, your daddy can hold your hand."

Jonathan blushed and had an eraction. Everyone was uncomfortable and pretended it wasnt there.

Temari set up her dentist tools. She put her gloves on. She touched into jonathans mouth. She started to clean his dirty teeth.

The rest i dont know how to describe becuz i havent been to the dentist in three years and i forgot what they do so lets pretend jonathan fell asleep lol

She was done cleanign his teeth. "Now Jojo, how do we floss?"

He strted to do flossing motionz.

She nodded at him and gave him a thumbs up.

"Yas queen."

immediately, she passed out on the floor. Everyone was confuzzled.

"Is mcdonalds still open?" Asked speedwagon.

"ya" said erina.

And off they went, leaving temari from naruto the dentist on the floor.

Noriaki Kakyoin was NAKED because florida is hot.

"WIFE CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME MY CHICKEN NUGGETS" He screeched outside, towards outside the window of his fabolous beach house that he was renting for his wife jotaro to live in for his science.

Jotaro sighed and walked to the entrence of his house, and opened the door, and went to the ktichen and pulled out vegan chicken nuggets.

He brought the vegan soy chicken nugget to his fake dom bottom soyboy husband and lovingly kissed him right on the mouth.

"Thank you wife" said nori, kissing him back. Tehy gayly shared the chicken nuggets as they gayly diped them into ketchup an gayly ate dem an gayly swallowed an gayly ate more as their gay stomachs digested dem w the power of their yaoi boy love.

Nori smiled.

"I love you jotaro"

Jotaro smiled back bcuz he was so happy to live with his husband that he was so in luff with dat he would never let go.

"I love you too nori"

 _ **a/n:**_

 **dat last part was fur u shadeblade10 X3 I HOPE U LIK!**

 **LEAVE A REVIEW AND FAVE PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZ NO FLAMING NO HATE ILY ALL CANDEH WOLFEH OUTTTTTTT!**

 **NEXT UPDATE WILL CUM SOOOOOOOOOON X3 BUT NOT LIKE SEX CUM LIKE CUM CUM LOL**


End file.
